The disease called "Rickettsia"

First posted in September 2007.

Hi my name is Mandi (36) and I am tired!“I’m tired” (meaning I am so very, very TIRED!) Yawn!

This has been my standard answer to anyone who asked about my well being, since I can first remember. As a child I always had chronic sinusitis, was put on different medications and diets to try and relieve the symptoms. Together with the sinusitis came headaches and tummy problems such as constipation. I was labelled an allergy child, always discovering new things I was allergic to, pollen, dust, medications, even vitamins.

Then, if I may, get started about my weight issue. I was always a chubby child, teen and adult. Been on every diet, exercise regime, shake, tablet, powder, etc, only to give me adverse side effects (slight weight loss in the beginning and the state of my health worsened). This has taken me on journeys of despair, depression and self loathing.There has always been an excuse for the tiredness (from doctors). As a teenager, they tell you that you need more sleep as you are going through emotional, social and physical changes.

Being newly married (my husband was a youth pastor) we were working full time and out all day and night on weekends, I should be tired, right? Then my health really took a nose dive when I became a mother, all young mothers are tired aren’t they? I have always been sent away with bioplus, vitamin B injections or sent for blood tests (countless) for my thyroid, only to be told a week later that my thyroid is functioning normally. Aaargh! It is just too hard, everything is just so hard to deal with. When we have to go to a social gathering, I am just so relieved if it is cancelled. Just the thought of having to do my hair and make up and get dressed, is like having to climb Everest to me. My head feels like it has a hazy cloud around it all the time. When I am with people, I feel stupid as I forget what I am talking about in the middle of a sentence and they have to remind me what I was talking about! How do you explain this to family and friends, they just don’t understand how tired I am. At times it feels that it is so hard just to put one foot in front of the other to walk. My neck, shoulders and back feel like I am carrying a ton of bricks, always heavy and burning. At times my joints ache so much that even my knuckles hurt to open and close my hands. I have always felt like a weakling, to cook supper, I cannot hold a saucepan with one hand, it feels too heavy and my wrist and shoulders ache.

Since I became a mom, I have stayed at home with my children. I love housework, washing, ironing, cooking and baking, arts and crafts, it gives me such a sense of accomplishment to see things done well and my family looked after – so that is perfect isn’t it? NOT! I can only think that my husband and children think that I am lazy, as things don’t get done as I would like them to. Now over and above these symptoms, I started growing facial hair, which is a nasty problem on its own. Then the depression and mood swings set in, oh my poor family, they would take most of it as you cannot show this side of yourself to others. Then I always had a foreboding fear that something terrible was going to happen to me, I felt that going on, the way that I was, I was certainly going to die.

I also noticed that certain things that I would eat and drink would worsen my symptoms, namely chocolate, sugar (in any form) and coffee. This was a huge problem as these were the very things that I would crave the most. Another symptom has just come to mind and that is the sensitivity to noise. If my children were playing in the house and they were squealing and having lots of fun, I could not take it, even singing. It would make me cringe, it would feel like an arrow penetrating my skull and my whole body feels like its pulling into itself. I am always telling my husband to turn the TV down its too loud. I remember, even as a child, going to the movies would make me scared as it was too overwhelming.

I have 2 beautiful daughters, aged 9 and 5, that mean the world to me. When they pick up germs at school and get colds and flu, I get sick with them every time. I am supposed to be the strong one to look after and nurture them. I take them to school everyday and fetch in the afternoon. I got a real fright one day on the way back home, I was so tired that I felt that I could drive straight off the road and I felt too tired to care.

This was just before I saw Dr Jadin for the first time in December 2006.